Tonight I am thinking about all the tragedy that the youth in our school systems have faced recently, in particular, Virginia Tech..and it scares me...literally scares me. I think about my daughters. And at first I think, I really don't know how to protect them! How do you protect your kids from violent hatred that explodes so unexpectedly? I feel waves of fear and sadness...even moments of defeat.
And then I remember this amazing little gift that God has given me and I begin to realize that although I can't protect them...I can equip them. Ephesians 6:13-16 gives us specific directions when we are faced with opposition...we are to put on the full amour of God...the helmet of salvation...the belt of truth...the shield of faith...the sword of the spirit...the breastplate of righteousness...the shoes of peace. God's armor is the best way that I can equip my children and myself as we try to come to terms with what is happening around us.
And so...I remind myself and my kids that we are saved. We spend time talking about how Christ has already won the battle and though others may try to hurt us, scare us, or even kill us, we have the helmet of salvation upon our heads. We already know who wins in the end. I know I am saved, they know they are saved, and nothing can take that knowledge away from us.
Helmet...check.
We walk in truth. We talk in truth. We pray in truth. I remind myself that although there is a lot of hate in this world, there is also a lot of love. Yes, I recoil at the images on the tv but I also rejoice when I see communities come together to honor those lost, to serve one another in love and in truth as they tell the stories about each person lost. The truth is that at the end of the day, we love no matter what. Death doesn't steal the truth. It tries to make us hate everything and fear everything, but in the end, we only love more. We love those lost. We love those who are suffering. We love those that helped. The violence makes us want to believe the lie that life sucks and isn't worth it, but the truth tells us otherwise.
Belt...check.
Faith may not save us from a violent act but it will see us through it. Faith is believing what you can't see. Faith is trusting that even when everything around you appears to be falling apart, somehow, it will all be put back together someday. God is good. People do horrific things, but I have faith that God is good and will heal each and every family that has lost someone. And so when the doubt presses on my heart and I feel compelled to panic, I instead reach deep into my heart and cling to my faith instead.
Shield...check
And when my faith is in place, but somehow, my words are still failing me or my face is still pale with fear, I rely on my spirit to battle for me. I open my bible. I pray. I draw my sword. I read God's word and let it comfort me. I read about the senseless tragedies that took place in the Old Testament and how God came in and restored broken families and shattered communities. I read about all the pain and sickness in the New Testament and how Christ came, healing them according to their faith. I talk to my kids about the God we serve... a healing, redeeming, and righteous God.
Sword...check.
I teach my kids what is right and what is wrong. I do my best everyday to live in a way that is good...healthy...lawful...right on...righteous. As much as I hate to be reminded in such a painful way, tragedies like VT, remind me of what happens when people create their own rules and righteousness is tossed to the side.
Breastplate...check.
And finally, I slow down and remember how precious peace is. In my home, it is a precious, precious gift. We want it at the dinner table. We seek it during arguments. We ask for it when we are crying. We need it when we face a tremendous loss. And we always notice though when it is missing. And so, I put on my shoes of peace. They may slip off from time to time, but I always know where to find them, and I never forget who made them. God keeps them for me, sitting on his front door, just waiting for me to come and slip them back on.
Shoes...check.
I may feel horrified and scared right now of the images being blasted on the tv, but I am filled with faith that God will overcome and will heal the areas that the devil intended to hurt us with. God will comfort us and we will in turn, comfort others. God will sustain us and show us light even when we think we can't see. God may not always physically rescue us from harms way every time but he does prepare our hearts, equipping us with the love of a God whose faith can endure and overcome senseless tragedies like what we have seen in Virginia and even right here in Keller.
The violence and hatred is real and we have seen it manifest itself this week, but I am not going to hand myself over to fear. I am going to equip my daughters and the amazing youth that God puts along my path, with a heart of faith...not fear.
This is fitting...
...Fear Hides from the unknown. Faith investigates.
...Fear Focuses on the problem. Faith focuses on the answer.
...Fear drains you. Faith sustains you.
...Fear retreats. Faith advances.
...Fear is fueled by past tragedies. Faith is fueled by past victories.
...Fear retracts. Faith attacks.
...Fear results from trusting in our own abilities only. Faith results from trusting in God abilities.
...Fear looks at the size of the problem. Faith looks at the problem in comparison to God.
...Fear can defeat your Faith. Faith WILL defeat your fear.
...Fear and faith are contagious, causing the heart of others to faint or fly.
"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt truth buckled around your waist...take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one." Ephesians 6: 13-16
Friday, April 20, 2007
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Wild Horses
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time."
God has been working on me at such a rapid pace lately, I sometimes feel like I can't keep up! It seems like I can go weeks rushing around and its all pretty much a blur and then all of the sudden it's like God just reaches down from heaven and puts his mighty hand on my head and I am suddenly stopped in my tracks, totally consumed by him and what he is showing me. And then it all makes sense again- my focus aligns and I begin to see what He has been up to in my life.
Last week in the midst of my "busywork" I noticed several books lying around the house that I haven't finished reading yet. (I'm pretty good at starting them but for whatever reason, they usually end up on the coffee table, the bedside table, or the kitchen counter, unfinished.) I spent a few minutes thinking about why I can't seem to finish anything I start and then moved on to the next thought. Then yesterday, in the midst of rushing out the door, my eyes breezed over one of those unfinished books. I grabbed one and shoved it in my purse thinking maybe I could try to read it later on in the carpool lane. At least I wouldn't be wasting time as I waited in line at the school. I hurried the girls off to the sitter, hustled them up to the front door, rushed through the goodbye kisses and hugs, and hopped back into my car ready to speed off to work...and then I realized that I was about 30 minutes early! lol. That never happens to me. Never. Taking advantage of the bonus time, I picked up that unfinshed book and God began to move.
I read about a woman who was in a season in her life where things seemed confusing and complicated…painful even. She said that when she tried to understand this season in her life, the word "confound" kept coming to her heart. The Lord eventually showed her that she was like a wild horse, confounded by its own disobedience. When a wild horse needs to be tamed, the owner will confound it by making it do the opposite of everything it so naturally wants to do- "It wants to go right; you pull it left. It wants to run; you make it stop. It wants to stop; you make it run." The owner has to break the horse of its own will, otherwise the horse is useless to its master. God does the same thing to us. He needs to break us of our own will so that we can be obedient to His will. And maybe some of us, like me, are just in that season of being broken by God in certain areas of our lives.
As I read, I realized that when I keep trying to go in my own direction, God has to confound me, over and over, breaking my selfish will so that I can be of use to him. And oh how I want to be used by him! I don't think my heart could want for anything more…even though my heart sometimes follows my will instead of its Lord! I guess I've had to learn the hard way that there is a difference between what my heart wants and what God wants for my heart. I have to be willing to receive his direction, willing to let him lead me, willing to trust him.
And so, I guess the end of the story is that I went from rushing around, worried, totally consumed and too busy to even really acknowledge the Lord- to having him just stop me in my tracks and deliver a message so powerful to me that I sat in my car and cried out to him. Sometimes we just have to give it all back to him right there in the parking lot. We have to hand over our fears, broken hearts, guilt, worries, and yes, even our selfish wills and we have to trust him enough to let him do whatever he wants with it all.
--1Peter 5:6
God has been working on me at such a rapid pace lately, I sometimes feel like I can't keep up! It seems like I can go weeks rushing around and its all pretty much a blur and then all of the sudden it's like God just reaches down from heaven and puts his mighty hand on my head and I am suddenly stopped in my tracks, totally consumed by him and what he is showing me. And then it all makes sense again- my focus aligns and I begin to see what He has been up to in my life.
Last week in the midst of my "busywork" I noticed several books lying around the house that I haven't finished reading yet. (I'm pretty good at starting them but for whatever reason, they usually end up on the coffee table, the bedside table, or the kitchen counter, unfinished.) I spent a few minutes thinking about why I can't seem to finish anything I start and then moved on to the next thought. Then yesterday, in the midst of rushing out the door, my eyes breezed over one of those unfinished books. I grabbed one and shoved it in my purse thinking maybe I could try to read it later on in the carpool lane. At least I wouldn't be wasting time as I waited in line at the school. I hurried the girls off to the sitter, hustled them up to the front door, rushed through the goodbye kisses and hugs, and hopped back into my car ready to speed off to work...and then I realized that I was about 30 minutes early! lol. That never happens to me. Never. Taking advantage of the bonus time, I picked up that unfinshed book and God began to move.
I read about a woman who was in a season in her life where things seemed confusing and complicated…painful even. She said that when she tried to understand this season in her life, the word "confound" kept coming to her heart. The Lord eventually showed her that she was like a wild horse, confounded by its own disobedience. When a wild horse needs to be tamed, the owner will confound it by making it do the opposite of everything it so naturally wants to do- "It wants to go right; you pull it left. It wants to run; you make it stop. It wants to stop; you make it run." The owner has to break the horse of its own will, otherwise the horse is useless to its master. God does the same thing to us. He needs to break us of our own will so that we can be obedient to His will. And maybe some of us, like me, are just in that season of being broken by God in certain areas of our lives.
As I read, I realized that when I keep trying to go in my own direction, God has to confound me, over and over, breaking my selfish will so that I can be of use to him. And oh how I want to be used by him! I don't think my heart could want for anything more…even though my heart sometimes follows my will instead of its Lord! I guess I've had to learn the hard way that there is a difference between what my heart wants and what God wants for my heart. I have to be willing to receive his direction, willing to let him lead me, willing to trust him.
And so, I guess the end of the story is that I went from rushing around, worried, totally consumed and too busy to even really acknowledge the Lord- to having him just stop me in my tracks and deliver a message so powerful to me that I sat in my car and cried out to him. Sometimes we just have to give it all back to him right there in the parking lot. We have to hand over our fears, broken hearts, guilt, worries, and yes, even our selfish wills and we have to trust him enough to let him do whatever he wants with it all.
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